Sunday, March 30, 2008

Pumping Gas with Mouse Ears On

Last night I attended the Squallis Puppeteers annual Fools Day Fund Raiser. The theme this year was "Forest of Fools" and those attending were given the option of donning animal ears as part of the merriment. I selected a set of gray mouse ears that matched my graying hair pretty well. Too well really. By the time the evening was drawing to a close Carmen was tired so I took her home before returning to help strike the set and return the decorations and party supplies back to the Shark Tank headquarters of the puppet gang. I had completely forgotten that I was sporting the set of ears when I pulled into the Broadway Chevron a little past midnight to get a little petrol into my below E tank. As I was pumping a few gallons of gas in my truck there were two angry drunk fellows arguing about some kind of soured drug deal just a dozen feet from me. I kept my eye on them not really knowing whether their anger would spill over to me as an innocent bystander. The conversation got more and more aggressive and I half way expected to see a weapon appear when one of the guys just started laughing.

Angry guy 1: "Mother fucker you don't do me like that without gettin your ass whooped. Now give me my god damn money mother fucker or I'll cut your ass."
Angry guy 2: (starts laughing)
Angry guy 1: "What you laughin at mother fucker? I put a cap in your ass."
Angry guy 2: "I ain't laughin at you mother fucker. That white dude over there with ears on be freakin me out."
Angry guys 1 and 2: (laughing at me and pointing at me pumping gas with mouse ears on)
Me: "What? You mother fuckers ain't never seen mouse ears before."

What the Easter Bunny brung me.

I was almost ready to declare the Easter Bunny an imaginary construct. Another one of those false emissaries of childhood happiness that just happens to appear at some important moment in the yearly cycle of Christian teaching. But now I am a believer all over again. (In bunnies, not religion.)

This year I returned from a trip to the coffee shop on Easter morning to find the above pictured "Lay an Egg" game waiting for me on my doorstep. What joy spread over me when I found the box sporting a life size image of a laying hen nestled into the clean straw bedding. What fun it was to open the box and find the plastic contraption that provides "fun for the whole family" by encouraging folks to gather around a table together slapping buttons that, if timed right, compel the cute red headed clucker to swivel its ass end over your own personal nest to lay an egg.

Now don't get me wrong. I still have my suspicions that there are mammals other than lagomorphs involved in this conspiracy of mirth. But I can't prove it. So until otherwise notified... count me as an Easter Bunny believer. Does anyone have a current email address for the tooth fairy?